So, I've been thinking.. We have this awesome subject at the University called Social and Cultural Anthropology, and we have an even more awesome teacher! Her name is V.V.Godina. She is like God! No kidding.
So I've been thinking to write a post about my point of view about some things. I've been in the library today and everytime I go to the section of Psychology and look at the shelf of books about personality and interpersonal relationships I always get caught by all these books about »how to get the perfect man« »How to become happy in 10 steps« bla bla and stuff like that. For you out there, that these books actually helped you, well, that's fantastic! But for me, as an almost psychologist, is always funny to read all these things these books say, because they have no science proof.
Today was one of those days, I've picked up a book »Why men prefer bitches« - Well, I guess you can see from the title why this book caught my attention. I've read some of the things inside. In the beginning I was laughing. Then I got mad. Like, really mad. Holy shit, do women around the world really believe this shit? That's gross. Honestly. I was so offended. And pissed off.
So here is this fascinating theory (that will change your life forever):
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Girls
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Boys
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1.object of care
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Mother
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Mother
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AUTHOROTY (by father)
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2.object of care
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Other female relatives
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Other female relatives
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PUNISHMENT (by father)
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3.object of care
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All other females
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All other females
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REPRESSION
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Men
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The theory says, that If we could choose with whom we would like to be, we would always choose our mother (yes, even the girls). Because our mum is the definition of the unconditional love. And we are all searching around the world for the unconditional love. But with the theory of incest, our mothers are forbidden. And also the evolution would never go far, if we would all keep having sex with our mother. The point is, that the mother is the first object of care. Without her, when we are babies, we would die. But okay, so we cannot have our mother. We stop wanting our mother because of the authority of our fathers. The second object of care are all the female relatives. But also they are forbidden. We stop wanting them out of punishment from our parents. And then there is the third object of care and these are all the other women. So, boys stop here. But girls don't. And here is the catch. It is obvious that our dear men has nothing to do with our beloved mother. Obviously. Physically they are VERY different. And also if girls would stop at the same stage as boys, there would be no reproduction, and we would all be dead in one or two generations. So here is now the biggest question:
What can men give us so we would choose them to have sex with?
Because according to the picture above, men are the last thing we would (if we could chose otherwise) chose. And also we need to repress our primary matrix – which is a woman – so we must desexualise ourselves and choose men.
So, again, what can a man give me, so that instead of a woman, I will have sex with a man?
Mana (mana is strictly individual! When someone has a mana, it is usually connected to our unconsciousness. Our unconsciousness recognize the mana and that's why we are attracted to it. According to Godina, mana is something that our unconsciousness remembers from our mothers when we were babies – a care or something).
Identification (when you cannot posses someone anymore (like our mothers when we ere a baby) and the love we felt for her changes. So if we cannot have her, we will identified with her. For boys the identification goes with fathers – complex of Oedipus – Mr. Freud).
Social-economic-political-religious POWER
And this last one is the more, more interesting one.
WHY?
Because 50, 100 years ago men could give us that. They could. Today they CANNOT.
And here is, where feminists come in. They wanted for women to have POWER. To be equal with men. But we know that love can never function between equals.
Here comes another theory:
Mother (SUPERIOR – She LOVES us.)
↓
Child (SUBORDINATE – He/She feels LOVED.)
And now there is this thing. Which one will go to the place of superior instead of Mother? The girl or the boy? Which one will be the one to love and which one will be the one to feel loved? Because everyone wants to FEEL LOVED! So, which one?
The girl.
Partly because of our education, which teach us to always care for others, to be nice, to not get angry, to respect and bla bla bla. Partly because of the fact, that we will be mothers one day, so biologically we have this instinct of the unconditional love within us. And then the big part, a man will NEVER choose to be superior. NEVER. And we cannot be both in the spot of being loved. It's impossible. One loves, the other feels loved. So the girl become superior, and so she loves.
Now, with the feminists – what they actually did was, YES, we gained POWER, but we lost our VALUE. And that's the saddest thing. We became equal with men, we can (must) go to work, we can do politics, we can decided for our own and everything. I am not saying I want to be the woman in the kitchen and look after kids and have no word at all, NO, I'm not saying that. BUT we did lost our VALUE. That's why relationships these days are so poor and they don't last like they did 50 years ago.
And with all the POWER and equality in everything with men, WE LOST THE POSSIBILITY OF EVER BEING LOVED.
50 years ago man could have gave us social status, and in this situation we were subordinate, and WE FELT LOVED. Today no man can give you social status, because you can get it on your own. There is nothing left for man to give us, and so there is NO WAY ANYMORE for us to be subordinate.
Sad, isn't it?
And then I pick up a book with the title »Why men love bitches« and inside there are rules described by how a woman must act and be, so a man will fall in love with her? Like, she can't get drunk, she must be patient, not to torture him what is he doing every 2 hours and stupid stuff like that. I mean, seriously? Are you freaking kidding me?
I really miss my VALUE.
And another thing. If men are really that perfect and everything, well, then I'll say, go to hell and try to have children on your OWN, if you are so damn perfect and you think all the women of the planet will go on their knees for you to notice, because you're that damn perfect!!
And there is another thing I must say. I didn't put much attention to it before I've heard it myself, but it's true. So, GIRL, hear me up:
WE DATE SO WE CAN CHOSE. WE DON'T DATE TO BE CHOSEN!
So, tell me, what do YOU think about it?
